I know I’ve written a lot about secondary school and stuff but this is only going happen once in my life. That chapter in my life has come to a close, and I’m only beginning to realize certain things. Like the fact that I will never, ever, ever,ever,ever,ever have to do science or French again. While I’ve had a this feelingbefore like after 1st year when I was able to drop Art(I hated it more than life),Spanish, and T.G.(I didn’t hate it I just couldn’t do it). Also again after 3rd year when I dropped Business Studies, Geography(hated the teacher so fucking much), History,Home Economics, and exam Religion. I was ecstatic to drop most of these subjects. I usually either hated the teacher, didn’t have any interest in the subject, and/or just genuinely couldn’t do the subject. For Art, Geography and 3rd year Religion it was all three of these things. None of these teachers liked me at all. The Art teacher moved me to the back of the room and would never look at what I was doing. I was up at the front a lot in Geography because we all had to sit in alphabetical order and lucky me, I got to sit right in front of her blotchy fake tan covered face for 3 years. I used the internet for all my geography homework, because I couldn’t do it and that teacher would always ask the homework questions, or least she did for a while, so I didn’t want to embarrass myself. She did begin to ignore me for a while which I actually loved because being asked something in class is probably when my anxiety is at it’s worst. She was one of the teachers that I was scared of, mostly because she was unpredictable. Sometimes she would yell, other times she try to make a joke or remark and it was hard to tell whether we were suppose to laugh or not. There was one day in 3rd year when I thought I had science but I had read my timetable wrong and I was supposed to be in geography and then science. So I went to my home class to get my geography books after realising my mistake after a good 5 or 10 minutes when the hall by the science lab was empty and void of my classmates. I ran down to the geography room and freaked out for about another 2 minutes outside the door anticipating that she would give out to me. I knocked on the door, as she insisted that is was good manners, and then I opened the door, she looked and me when I came in but continued to talk to the rest of the class as I tried to quickly and quietly get to my seat right in front of her. This bitch was always on about manners, she could learn a thing or two about manners herself. Clicking your fingers at someone and pointing at someone is the height of bad manners. It also didn’t help that she would sometimes do this for no obvious reason and she would rarely explain herself. It usually meant she wanted you to cease and desist from what you were doing but sometimes the person she was clicking at did nothing. I still got a C in geography in the Junior Cert, so I showed her. The 3rd year religion teacher was just a sub while my normal religion teacher was on maternity leave for practically the entirety of 3rd year. She just hated me from the instant she met me. Believe me I hated her too. She was correcting my religion project, blacked out stuff that I wrote, and blamed me for being messy with my writing because I was blacking out stuff. I never did that, so I had to pretend to be sorry but I was just really confused and when I got it back I knew that I hadn’t done it. Again I got a C so I showed that bitch.
I actually liked History,Home Ec., and Business Studies. I always found certain parts of history interesting. I liked learning about the Romans, American history, the world wars, and social change in Ireland. While I liked all these things that didn’t mean I could learn them. No matter how much I tried I could never remember anything in history. Not that the teacher was much help, she would spend ages at one chapter. She would go back over every part but say different things every time or leave something out so I just got confused, and I gave up. I went into the exam without having really gone over anything that wasn’t the first 10 chapters and the social change chapter. Can you guess what I got? Another C! Suddenly I C why I dropped all these subjects(Please tell me that was a pun!).I’ve discussed my love/hate relationship with Home Ec. in a previous post but I was really good at the theory, sucked at cooking/baking/washing up, but I did like my teacher. Also any Home Ec. classes involving cooking usually involved tears for me because something would always go wrong. I didn’t really like my business studies teacher. She wasn’t that bad in reflection though, she did move me to a different seat in 2nd year away from my friend, but didn’t real care about me sitting next to her in 3rd year. My friend and I did absolutely no work in 3rd year business. We were over at the side of the room talking and drawing in each others books the entire time. I’m sure everyone could hear us, and yet my teacher never gave out to us. She did give out to the girls at the other side of the room who were used to it seeing as it happened in every other class that they were in. Business was the only class where I was always talking during it. I didn’t do my homework about half the time because she stopped checking it and just gave out answer sheets so doing the homework was just pointless sometimes(except if I wanted to do well, which I sort of did). I would do it sometimes for fun though, because I loved doing the accounting stuff so much. I would get all giddy and excited if/when my profit, loss and depreciation accounts would balance.
I was so excited when I found out that accounting was it’s own separate subject in the Leaving Cert and when our Vice Principal gave a talk about it one day I couldn’t wait to start it. Unfortunately I never got to do it because it clashed with French and I had to keep a language in case I needed it,WHICH I DID NOT!!!! I was distraught when they made me sort out my options. I wanted to quit school, accounting was going to be my fun subject (I think,from what I heard, accounting wasn’t that easy after all). My college plans were going to be me doing an accounting course, I was looking forward to it 2 years ago. I know it’s for the best that I didn’t do it, everything happens for a reason and it was meant to be blah,blah,blah. I just really wanted to do it so much. Besides accounting and French, I had 2 other options that I had picked myself that I was doing for the Leaving Cert. They were Biology and Chemistry. Almost everyone does Biology, people think it’s the easiest science because all you do is learn stuff off (I think it depends on how your brain works and learns stuff). I really wanted to do Chemistry because I loved learning about the elements and how many electrons,protons and neutrons made up each one. So I was going to do 2 sciences anyways. With accounting not being a viable option for me anymore, I hadn’t much choice seeing as the only other subject I would’ve been interested in was Music and I dropped that in 1st year so I couldn’t do that. I ended up having to pick Physics. I was doing the 3 sciences and French, the exact same options that my brother did. The thing is, unlike my brother, I hated doing science. I didn’t understand anything, I just tried to learn stuff off, not knowing what anything meant.I don’t think anyone knew how difficult I found it, my teachers just thought I wasn’t working. I was trying to understand it for months and I just couldn’t no matter if they explained it again or not. I told people all the time “oh I hate science” and I was saying it because it was true and I had little to no other options, I was never good at it. I somehow managed to pass all my sciences. I did the worst in chemistry and in 5th year it was my favourite science. I liked most of the maths and numbers involved in chemistry. I really liked oxidation and reduction numbers. They are the easiest thing that I found on the entire course. I got nearly full marks on the question on them that came up in the pre. However, it never came up in the real thing. What did come up was a calculation that we learned really late into 6th year, that I could never do or understand because I didn’t spend enough time trying to figure it out so I never got it. I actually kind of liked all the sciences in 5th year, it was in 6th year when I started to hate them all. I got too busy to learn some of the new stuff so I got really behind on work and I was doing new work as well as the revision homework that was set and I found the revision stuff easier so I just focused on that because it was more fun to me. I’ve been really happy since realizing that I will never have to do science ever again. So I can add this to the list of subjects that are “dead and gone” out of my life, “they’re with O’ Leary in the grave.”